seasons and cycles: moving through depression

Take Cy Twombly, for example, who is an abstract expressionist.  He was inspired by John Keats’s poem, “The Human Seasons,” and created the series you see above.  Each painting offers a unique feeling: the young, flowering energy of spring, the sensual warmth of summer, the idle contentment of fall, and the inevitable death of winter.

As the Winter solstice approaches, the days grow shorter with the changing colors of the leaves and we will most likely seek warmer foods and hot beverages.  We bundle up for warmth and comfort.  We crawl under cozy blankets; maybe we stay indoors more curling up by a fire.  The trees will eventually lose their leaves and we will have less and less sun.  Our lives are no different and take on these same patterns as with periods of preparation/seeding, growth and abundance, dormant rest, and gradual decay.   Each day has a similar cycle with the rising and setting of the sun.  Before long Spring will return, seeds will take root and vegetation will begin to grow.

It is not always easy to think of our life situation in this way.  It can be difficult to view loss and difficulty as a season or cycle.  It can hurt like hell and make you want to scream! And that’s okay. Scream if you need to or you can also write, paint, dance, run…whatever helps you to move through it; to bring comfort to this pain.  The main thing is to see the period for what it is…a period.  It is not permanent.  Few things are.  And even if there is some element that you can’t change there is room for acceptance when we acknowledge these seasons are inevitable.  Spring will come, flowers will bloom, and new life will be born following the cold darkness of Winter whether we are ready or not.  The question is how can we make space for both the light and the dark?  If you find yourself in this place try the following to help move you through it:

Acknowledge your feelings– Feelings are neither right nor wrong; good nor bad.  They are just feelings.  Allow yourself to have them without judgment practicing Mindfulness and they will pass.

Talk to a friend or loved one– Be selective in who you confide in.  Not everyone deserves to hear your thoughts and feelings.  Open up to those that are genuinely supportive and do not judge you.  Share with those who have earned your trust.

Take extra care of yourself– Eat your favorite foods, read a book you love, take yourself on a date to somewhere you have been wanting to go, i.e. zoo, park, gallery, dinner, etc.  Treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend.

Know that there will be difficult periods ahead, but they will be cushioned between a variety of other experiences…some great, some annoying, and others somewhere in between…all are opportunities for growth.   Borrowing from nature to view your own life through the lens of cycles and seasons can prevent you from feeling stuck in the meantime.  Anxiety and depression can arise when we layer harsh, critical judgment on top of whatever disappointing reality with which we are faced.  Working so hard to resist our life situation with judgment about what should be, we miss what actually is.  We can lose sight of the changes around us missing the seasons and cycles of each hour and the day.   We can miss the present and its gifts if we lose sight of the ever-changing nature that make us human.

As Keat’s explained, things of this earth are transient and like youth and beauty all things wither and fade.  And so it is with the pain of any situation.  Whether it’s a disappointing job, failed relationship, recurring emotion, and/or any other issue that is fighting for your attention, in time you will find yourself past this difficult period.  I’d love to hear how you experience the seasons and what cycle you find yourself.  Please post in the comments below to let me know how your Fall is going and if you’re ready for Winter!

If you are struggling in any way and feel stuck in a season of pain, fear, and/or despair know that you do not have to continue this cycle alone.  The pain of any given circumstance cannot end when we are trapped in harsh, critical judgment.  Such thoughts can result in overwhelming emotion, but there is another way.  I can help you move beyond chronic fear and self-doubt if you are ready to make that change.  I am just a phone call away and offer a free consultation to help determine if therapy is the next best step for you!